My LOVE

1

Have you ever come across a total bitch of a roommate? If not, you don't know what is to hear squeals from next door every weekend nights. When I tried to find a roommate in New York City, where I work, all I wanted was a female roommate. I got one, but never knew that she is such a bitch when it comes to sex and party. Well, this city is the party city of the east coast. She is amazing in picking up handsome guys and having them over for a night. She never seemed to bring the same guy twice. May be relationship isn’t her thing.

Quite contrarily, on the other hand, I am the one who firmly believes in relationship. I never indulged in one-night stand and yes, still a virgin in all respect. My roomie sometimes tells me that I need a good and hot session of you-know-what. She even wanted to try for me but I always firmly said no.

So here today on a saturday night she came home at night around 11 with this guy. I knew how my sleep at night was going to be screwed while she would get screwed somewhere else.
She introduced this new guy he said, "hi Kristy meet Brian, my boyfriend."
"Yeah! I know. Tomorrow morning I won’t even see him." was my rye reply.
"No. we are dating for 3 weeks now." was Rixy’s reply.
"You and dating? Gimme a break." I told.
"You better believe sweety. Anyway, today we are in the mood. So we should be excused. Right honey?" The last words of him were pointed to Brian.

Brian was seemingly embarrassed by the way Rixy behaved. He was different than all other horny guys Rixy had brought before. Even I realized that for last four weeks Rixy did not bring any new guy but came home around midnight looking happy. May be she is dating and finally planning on settling down in a relationship. I felt a little happy. As usual, I heard kissing sounds and soft moaning from that side of the wall and drifted off to sleep. Next morning I actually did see Brian. And indeed, there was a change in Rixy too.

2

The week passed and came another weekend. Rixy and Brian were going to a club. Suddenly Rixy came to my room. "What are you going to do for the evening Kristy?"
"Not much. May be watching some movies on the TV." was my reply.
"Why don't you come with us to the club?"
"You know that's not my scene."
"Did I ask you to hook-up?"
"I din’t mean that." trying to be apologetic sensing she is little hurt.
"This club is a nice one where people from decent background come. No one is going to force you to do anything if you don’t want to."
"But...." She cut me off in the middle and said,"Whatever it's your wish. I thought you might enjoy. I am sorry if I did hurt you."
"Not at all Rixy. Don't get me wrong. But you know I am kinda nervous."
"I will be there with you. Brian is going to be there. So what's your problem?"
"Ok. If you insist so much I will come. Are you happy now?" I said with a little grin on my face.
"Wow! Do you know that you are a sweetheart?" With that she gave me a big hug.
Rixy always had a big heart. It was always easy to please her. She becomes happy at smaller events of life. She is still childish. And that's why I am still her roommate despite her others shortcomings.

So, here I am in the club for the first time. I did not know anyone but Rixy seems to know many of the people. It is obvious because she is more frequent here. She remained by my side all the time.
"Check around. You might get someone special."
"Rixy! I did not come here to find someone special."
"Look you fool. Your Mr. Right is not gonna come and knock on your door. Ok? You need to be out to find him."
"Ok. Now stop lecturing and go with Brian. I can take care of myself."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep."

Rixy went with Brian to hit the dance floor while I sat there sipping through my martini. The ambience was nice and warm. It’s not like I did not like it but was still a little nervous. But anyway, I was there enjoying the evening.

Suddenly I heard a voice. “Hope I am not interrupting.”
I turned my head to see who it is. There stood Evan (though I knew the name later). It’s unnecessary to give his physical description. But this much I can tell he was the one fits my choice perfectly. For few seconds I just stared at him before I realized. After regaining consciousness I said,
“Not at all.”
“Can I sit here with you?”
“Sure.” Who am I to refuse him?
“Are you alone?”
“No with my roomie and her bf.”
“I am sorry to be so rude. I did not mean anything by asking whether you are alone or not.” Just like a child Evan apologized.
“Hi I am Evan.”
“I am Kristy.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Same here.”
“Do you like reading books?”
Perhaps that was the last question I ever expected. I was completely bowled out.
“Huh?” was all I could mutter at that moment.
“I asked do you like reading books.” Evan had a mischievous grin on his face.
“Yeah. I do.”
“Who’s your favorite author?”
“Not a single one specifically but it should be a worth reading.”
“Great. Our tastes match a little bit.”
“Do you have any favorite author?”
“Not really but I like Ernest Hemmingway’s work.”
“I like his style a lot. But these days I really do not get much time to read.”
“Among the contemporary writers do you like anyone in particular?”
“I like mystery plots. Sidney Sheldon and Sandra Brown are good.”
“Ahh!! I absolutely adore Sidney Sheldon’s work.”
Now, I was little intrigued. Here I am sitting in a club with a guy who likes Ernest Hemmingway and wants to talk about his work.
Suddenly Rixy came from behind and nudged me. I turned with a little shudder.
“What happened?”
“He is hot.” Was the first comment from Rixy.
“Shut up. You are almost married now.” I retorted before Evan thinks something else about me.
“So what? I can always appreciate beauty. Can’t I? I know that he won’t even mind.” Rixy was persistent.
It was only polite for me to introduce them to each other.
“Hi Evan, meet my roommate Rixy. And Rixy this is Evan.”

They did a formal exchange of pleasantries and Brian arrived with 3 drinks. Brian was also introduced. In fact, it was seen that Brian somehow knew Evan from before. They did an associate course together. But they only knew each other by face. Brian went to get another drink for Evan but he made a proposal which I could not refuse.

Looking at Brian and Rixy he asked, “Would you mind if I want to buy a drink for Kristy?”
Rixy was too excited to the idea and just pushed me towards Evan.
“Just go my dear. You won’t regret.” Her wink was too obvious.
I was turning all shades of red but deep down I wanted to be with Evan. At least I found someone who is interested in some intellectual conversations and not just something which will just lead us to bed. That was probably more intoxicating to me.
“What would you like to drink?”
“Whatever you wish.”
“Ok.” I was again turning shades of red. I don’t know what got over me.

With our drinks we came out on the patio to talk. Meantime, I saw Rixy has again hit the dance floor with Brian. No doubt that Rixy is a prolific dancer. She knows how to gyrate her body. She was indeed the center of attraction. Many times I did dance in my room, but was too shy to do in front of so many prying eyes in a club. Noticing me intently watching Rixy’s dancing, Evan asked, “Do you want to dance too?”
“No.” I was too shy to dance in front of everyone.
“Give it a try.”
“I am a no match to Rixy. She is a prolific one.”
“You too are. Just try.”

I do not know what was in his words but I gathered enough courage to hit the dance floor. I could see from a distance that Rixy was staring with total bewilderedness in her eyes at me. I just winked and she slowly started approaching me. I slowly started gyrate my hips. It felt amazing. Evan was just giving an encouraging smile which was kind of a turn on for me. I never felt this way. It was all new for me. Soon Rixy joined me too. We were doing it in a kind of unison. We could see that we were surely turning heads. Anyway, I did not care somehow.

“I never knew you can dance so well. It’s damn sexy.” Rixy commented.
“Even I din’t know. Its Evan who is responsible.”
“I see. Is something brewing up?”
“Not anything to have him in my bed tonight.”
“Sweety. You are really a fool. I would have never missed the opportunity.”
“That’s why we are different.”

Our dance was slowly becoming erotic. With the effect of alcohol I started to feel a little uninhibited. Rixy and I started to give a good show to the audience. But Brian and Evan stopped us and took us away.
“Rix. Stop it.” Brian was somehow angry I could sense.
“It’s only with Kristy. No one else I am dancing with.” Rixy was defensive.
“Gimme this show at home. I would love to watch it. But not in this public place.”
“I am sorry.” Rixy was almost on the verge of crying I could sense.
“Rixy. I am sorry. I don’t know what got over me. I should not have done that.”
Evan did not say a word until now.
“I think the fault is mine. I encouraged Kristy to dance. And I guess for both of you the alcohol spoke more than you did. If you all don’t mind can we have our dinner together?”

Brian saw it an opportunity to get out of the club and readily agreed. We went to a nice and quiet restaurant and had a wonderful dinner. Later Brian dropped Rixy and me. But before we parted Evan had my cell phone number in his phone book. We still have an unfinished conversation.

3

“Sweety! You turn out to be quite an item.” Was the first comment from Rixy after we reached home.
“Honey! That was not me.” I tried to defend myself.
“Come on. Let’s dance here without any interruption.”

I did like the idea and put on one of the CDs we had. All the songs were party songs. We both were in intoxicated state. Soon we were doing a little sluttish movement - exactly what we could not do in the club dance floor. For the first time in a while I was having a good time with Rixy.
“I wish Brian was here tonight.”
“Call him and get him here.”
“He has to leave for an official tour tomorrow for 3 days and his flight is in early morning. So he cannot be with me.”
“Oh baby! So sad!” I could believe what I said just now. But it felt good.
“Now let’s go to sleep.”
“Yeah. I am also feeling kinda sleepy.” Rixy said.

The Tuesday of the week was a memorable one. Around lunch time Evan called me.
“Hi Kristy. What are you doing?”
“I am in my office.”
“Where is your office?”
“It’s NYT building.”
“Wow. I am there too.”
“What do you mean?” I should have sounded quizzical.
“I work for Finance Sector of NYT.” Evan replied.
“That’s my office.” I tried to sound not too excited. But I was.
“What’s your division?”
“I work for the graphics design division.”
“Would you mind if I ask you out for the lunch?”
Temptation! And I am just an ordinary human being.
“Why should I?”
“See you in 10 minutes in the main lobby.”
“Ok.”

I was little puzzled. We worked in the same building but never saw each other. But it was only me who did not see him. He did see me. We went to the Olive Garden near Times Square.
“How did we have never seen each other before though working in the same building?”

“Who told you that?” Evan questioned me back.
“What do you mean?” I was really perplexed.
“I see you every day.”
“Why din’t you tell me that?”
“Just like that.”
“It’s not fair.”
“Come on Kristy. Don’t be angry with me. I must admit that I always come to the lobby when you leave for home.”
“How do you know when was I leaving?”
“You always leave at 6.30.” He had that mischievous grin on his face.
“Is that the reason you followed me to the club?”
“To admit the truth, that day I did not follow but the moment I saw you it was something else for me.”
“What was that?” It surely is an event for me now. Someone craved to see me.
“I don’t know but could not resist the urge to talk to you.”
“Thank god you did not.” I was happy inside as a little puppy but did not show much because I guess I am a born introvert.

We finished our lunch and returned to office but for the rest of the day I could not concentrate on my work much. Just the thought of Evan kept coming to my mind.

In the evening, at home, I was cooking and humming a tune. Rixy came in and was bit surprised.
“What sweety? You are humming today?”
“Hey honey. You just can’t imagine what happened today.”
Probably if it been like old times we wouldn’t be having this conversation but in fact, the day when we went to the club, brought us closer.
“Evan and I work in the same building.”
“You must be joking.” Rixy was surely apprehensive.
“We went out for lunch today.”
“Are you serious? Is that the reason for your humming?”
“May be.” I must have blushed deep red.
“Wow. You are blushing sweety. This is great.”

On Saturday I and Rixy decided to invite Brian and Evan at our place for dinner. It turned out such that I and Brian are for vegetarian food while Evan and Rixy prefer meat. Naturally we got a little tipsy after our dinner. The food habit was the cause of a big joke which Rixy did.
“Hey sweety. Wanna swap bf’s?” She is always such naught girl.
“Evan is not yet my boyfriend Rixy.”
“Come on. You know what you want. Don’t you?”
“Just shut up. Nothing is final. And for god’s sake don’t say it in front of them.”
“You are a big fool. If you are not going to tell him today I will tell for ya.”
“Please don’t my mom.” I practically pleaded.
“Then you better get all these done pretty soon.” Rixy was persistent.

Anyway, when we got tipsy, Rixy took it one step forward.
“Brian, that day you did not allow us to dance. But today we will.”
With this she put the CD and ‘baby one more time’ by Britney Spears blared out. With both I and Rixy little drunk, we started dancing. It must been a show because both Brian and Evan were intently watching us. After some time Brian put the CD off and we were little surprised.
“What happened?” Rixy asked.
“Let’s put on some romantic number.”
And he put soft instrumental. What a change! I and Rixy were tired. But Brian and Evan were not. Brian pulled up Rixy and they were doing close dancing. Their display of affection and alcohol again made me what I don’t know.
“Would you mind dancing with me?” Evan surely knows how to win me.
Temptation again! And I am just an ordinary human being.
“Why should I?”
We started a close dance. It was surely erotic. Something I have never felt before. But this was what I was craving for. I felt what is coming up but had no intention to stop it. The moment Evan started talking to me in the club I knew he is the one for me. But today I could not believe that I wanted to break free of all the inhibitions and make him mine. Suddenly we felt that the music has stopped. It’s Rixy now.
“Sweety. Would you mind playing the piano for us?”
“But honey, you know I can’t play it that well.”
“You can play anyway. I like it.”
“But what about the others?” I knew the answer though.
“Look sweety. We all know Evan would love it. And as far as Brian is concerned he will too.”
And she winked at me. I knew what she is up to.
“Honey. You are a piece of work.”
“Come on Kristy.” Brian joined too.
“Ok. I will.”

I did play almost 5 songs in a row. I myself was amazed to find that. What they did was recording my playing the piano. That made me utterly shy. This was something they should not have done; at least, not without asking me. I knew it was Rixy’s idea. And more so, she handed over the CD to Evan.
“This is for you. You can keep it.” Rixy said as a matter of fact.
“Thank you.” Evan quipped.
I simply stood dumbfounded not knowing how to react.

4

It was a busy day for me in the office. I had to do a lot of pending work. When I was finished it was almost 8 at night. Finally, I thought it’s time to go home. Just as I was about to leave my cell phone rang. The display showed its Evan.
“Hey. What’s up? Still in office?” “Leaving now.” “Wanna ride?”
“Wait! Are you still in your office too?”
“Yes.”
“Ok. Let’s meet in the lobby.”
“Fine by me.”
Wave of pleasure swept over me. I know that it’s not long before Evan is going to be my boyfriend. Rixy was doing something about it. Often I hear Rixy and Evan talking over the phone. Once we get inside the car it was a different feeling. I have been with him many times before in the car but today it was just different.
“Would you mind having dinner with me?” asked Evan.
“Rixy has cooked for me.” I told, though I wanted to spend time with Evan. Damn! I am such a stupid.
“Call her and ask if it’s ok with her.” Such an understanding guy he is!
I dialed Rixy’s number and she was there.
“Hey sweety. Tell me.”
“Is it ok if I don’t have dinner at home tonight?”
“Is Evan with you?”
Rixy had that typical naughty tone in her voice.
“Yes. He asked me out for a dinner.” I knew I sounded like a teenage girl.
“Go for it you fool. You don’t need my permission.”
“Thank you honey.”
“You are welcome.”
I stared at Evan and said, “it’s ok.” Little did I know what a night it’s going to be. Evan drove to his apartment.
“Are we having dinner at your place?”
“Don’t you wanna?”
“I am sorry. I did not mean anything.”
“You don’t have to be. Just come with me.”
“But see I am all tired from the day’s work. I really need a hot shower.”

“You can have it here.”
“But Evan…..”
He cut me in the middle and said looking into my eyes,
“You can have your privacy.”
That was all I needed. That moment I knew if he does not tell me today I am going to. He is mine. That’s what I thought. After a shower I was more relaxed.
“Would you like to have your dinner right now?”
“Sure. I am really hungry.”
It was a delicious dinner indeed. All were vegetarian dishes. And well-made.
“Shall I be fortunate enough to listen you playing piano today?” asked Evan.
I simply did not know what to say and was sitting quietly.
“You did not answer my question.”
“I don’t know what to say. May be.”
“That’s enough for me.” How can one be so considerate?
After we had our sumptuous dinner it’s the time I thought.
“Shall we sit by the window?” The city is full of sky-scrapers and Evan’s apartment is in one of the upper floors. The magnificent view of the whole city took my breath away. It’s glittering – both above and on ground. The sky is studded with stars. Perfect – again I thought to myself.
“I am waiting.” uttered Evan as he took a seat.
I took a deep breath and started. It created the mood. He seemed to be transformed to another world. And believe me, I was too. It was such an intense sensation which I never felt. Ever slowly Evan came and hugged me close to him as we sat by the window. After some time I could not take it anymore. I stopped and looked into his eyes.
“Evan. I want to tell you something.” My voice was cracking.
“Shhh. You need not Kristy. I know what you want to.” He placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart-beat. “What you want, me too. There is no need to say it.”
Sitting on his lap, wrapped up in his warm embrace I found what I was searching for.

“My LOVE”.

The Night - A Sojourn

Have you ever wondered why in the journey of life often we find our self in midst of such a crowd where we seem to be misfit, an odd man out? Despite being in the crowd why there is so loneliness and lost a feeling? Yet there may be someone who is for me, like me but may be far from me. We never know what treasure life has in store for us in every turn. It is only the most unexpected which happens all the time and whatever happens it is for good. Don’t you to agree? Life is too long to brood over the sorrows and faults of yesterday but too short to live to the brim today and think for an even brighter tomorrow. May be a little faith and love for life can give us more than what we asked for.

1

It has been a long week for Aryan with lots of pending works done. Above all managing the fussy boss made him eagerly looking forward to the weekend. It’s the time to relax. Hoping to have some time for himself and expecting a quiet weekend holiday all for himself he called it a day at 6 in the evening on Friday. With the engine of his black sedan car roaring he made a rather speedy exit from the parking lot towards his home.

“Thank God! At last it’s time for me only. I needed it man.” he thought to himself.
But little did he know that it is going to be the time which will bless his life to a new ecstasy and elation.
Now I guess Aryan should be more known to the dear readers. He is a typical urban character who from his very birth has grown up in a cosmopolitan environment. His demeanor reflects the sophistication and simplicity both at the same time. He may fit to the bill “tall, dark and handsome” but there is always a mischievous grin on his face and that made his appearance somewhat more elegant but not too solemn.
Though he grew up in din and bustle of urban environment yet within him there was another Aryan who craved for unfussiness and somewhat calmness in life. The only resort he found was his flute. Aryan does not claim himself to be creative or a person of arts but his interest is in playing flute but never made it public though. The night sky studded with stars always fascinated and enthralled him by the virtue of its vastness and fathomless mystic manifestation. He always found a safe haven in the cradle of night. The darkness never gave rise to apprehension in him but a sense of harmony. It is at this time his flute becomes more vocal than him. Lost in the pure bliss of the serenity of night Aryan plays flute only for himself. The passion to reach perfection was more an obsession than obligation.
Friday night was exception for Aryan. He wanted his flute to be more vocal than ever. The expression of him wanted to be revealed in that. But as usual one of his friends soon called him up for a party.
“Hey Aryan. How is it going?” The voice belongs to Ronny on the other end.
“Nothing much. It’s time for me to relax after a total week of work.”
“I have a great idea of relaxation you know.”
“Oh come on. I know what it is. Another party. That’s not for me.”
“Don’t be a spoilsport man. It’s gonna be great I assure you.”
“Yeah! I know how boring they are.”
“Boring?” Ronny sounded quizzical, “With those beautiful and sexy girls around, you find the party boring?”
“Beautiful girls are ok. But why don’t they have at least something in their head?”
“Nay. It’s good for us.” Ronny replied chuckling.
“Great! Then go along. But leave me yaar. I am not coming.”
“Oh come on Aryan. Anthony, Sunny – all are coming. You have to. Else we will go to your house and just pick you up.”
“You guys are simple impossible. Ok. Just now I have returned from my office. May be I will be a little late.”
“Sounds great now.”
“But tell me where the party is.”
“Oh. Didn’t I tell you? It’s at Anthony’s place. Few of his office colleagues are also coming. See you there buddy.”
“See you.”
With those words Aryan disconnected the call.
“Another boring party where I will be in a crowd but all alone.” sighed Aryan to himself.
But he knows that if he does not go his friends will just march into his apartment and without a word would drag him along them to the party. Ronny, Anthony and Sunny are three dearest friends of Aryan. They four grew up together in school and then college though with different stream of study. Yet their friendship has only gone from strong to stronger with bonds deepen as time passed.
Reluctantly he got up and tried to get himself in the mood for the party. Though at the moment his inner self is vehemently reluctant and protesting yet he knows he has to go. He doesn’t want to be a spoilsport though in the party. The idea of putting up a fake enjoying smile and presenting himself in utmost civil way he just loathes. But that’s what life is. Life has taught him always may not be it’s his time. With proper attire on himself he headed for Anthony’s place.

2

Lavender’s life revolves pretty much around her work. Being brought up in a fast paced life-style she has known work to be the supreme. Owing to her hard-working and perseverant nature she has achieved what she wanted to be in life. She is a medical professional which she dreamt of becoming from her very childhood. Her caring attitude, soft spoken personality and above all the cherubic smile she always bears on her lips made her popular among the patients as well as other personnel in the hospital. It has always proved to be a boon for Lavender to speak less and listen more. She learnt a lot about people she worked with, their problems, agony, and frustrations alongside their dreams and aspirations and hope. She is always been successful in cheering up people from their morose state and pessimistic outlook. She somehow had a natural flair of making people see the dream of a new day ushered in with hope and optimism.
But deep down her heart Lavender is a lonely person. She could have never made friends easily. It was very difficult for her to make herself expressed. Often she found her to be misunderstood by people. But out in the world there are always some people who can make friends without any complicacy and complexity. They are blessed and good for Lavender. One such friend of Lavender was Rimjhim – her best friend. She was the one whom Lavender finds everything to confide in.
“Hey Lavender.” the bubbly voice on the other side of telephone was Rimjhim as usual.
“Hi Rimjhim.” replied Lavender.
“Are you done with your work?”
“Almost. After 2 hours my duty hours will be over. I am just going out for my last round of visit to the patients before I leave for the day.”
“Great. Today Ronny called me up sometime back. At Anthony’s place there is a small party. We are going ok.”
“Rimjhim. I may not come because………” she was cut off by Rimjhim.
“I am coming to pick you up at 7 sharp. I don’t care whatever condition you will be at that time. I am just going to take you with me. It’s time for fun.”
“Ok. And yes, thanks for inviting me.”
“No problem.”
And with these words the conversation ended.

3

“Hey. There’s Aryan.” Sunny pointed out.
“You are late buddy.” complained Anthony.
“I was just a little tired. So it took some time. I hope you did not mind.” Aryan tried to sound apologetic.
“Hey buddy. It’s alright. Now that you are here, let’s rock man.”
“You guys carry on. I am here for the support.” Aryan quipped.
All the guys went in and Aryan found new faces as well. And many were unknown to him. Sunny and Anthony introduced Aryan to many guests. But still Aryan was finding the way to get out of here. He does not need to party now. It’s time for him to be with him and only him. It’s time to be alone and feel the mystic nature in the darkness with its full glory.
“Hi baby.” Ronny greeted Rimjhim by placing a peck on her right cheek.
“Hi sweetheart.” Rimjhim responded.
“You remember Lavender, don’t you?”
“I do. Hello Lavender. Come on in you two.”
“Hello Ronny. It’s nice to see you again.”
“Let me introduce you to my other friends.” said Ronny.
“That sounds good although I know all of them.” Rimjhim said with a little chuckle.
“It will be good for Lavender. She might find someone to talk to and I will get you for a little more time.” Ronny winked at Rimjhim.
“Great idea! You deserve some prize for this brilliance.” Rimjhim winked back too.
“Hey Anthony and Sunny. See who’s here.” Ronny addressed his two friends.
“Hi Rimjhim. It’s great that you have come. Ronny could not even sit in a single place quietly.” Anthony backed a little because Ronny was about to punch him.
“Hi sis. It’s after a long time we met right?” Sunny is Rimjhim’s cousin brother.
“Yeah. What are you up to nowadays? Come home sometime.”
Rimjhim has always been affectionate for her two day younger cousin brother.
“Oh! I almost forgot to introduce to you my friend Lavender. She is a doctor.”
And pointing towards Anthony and Sunny, Rimjhim introduced them as well.
“Hi Lavender. It’s nice to meet you. Enjoy the party. Please feel free here.” Anthony tried to sound like a good host.
“Don’t worry. I will be comfortable.” Lavender said softly.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Lavender. I hope you enjoy the place as well as the party.” The words were from Sunny.
“I am sure.”
“Nice to meet both of you.” spoke Lavender with her usual simplicity and softness.
“Where is Aryan?” Rimjhim glanced around to find him.
“I guess he is in the balcony.” Anthony replied.
“What is he doing there?” Ronny sounded little bewildered.
“May be counting the stars.” jokingly Sunny made the comment.
“Let me introduce Aryan to Lavender and then I will be back guys.” Rimjhim took Lavender to the balcony.
Aryan was talking to another person about sports. The recent debacle of the Indian team in the world cup and the subsequent loss of enthusiasm and interest in the game was the topic of discussion.
“Excuse me for a moment.” Aryan told the person he was talking to as soon as he saw Rimjhim.
“Hi Rimjhim. How are you doing?”
“I am doing well. What about you?”
“I am all fine.”
“Meet my friend Lavender. She is a doctor.”
“Lavender. This is Aryan. He plays flute so excellent that you have to listen to it to believe.”
“I will gladly do so.”
“Hi Lavender. Glad to meet you.”
“Aren’t you two going to have drink?”
“I will but she will not.” Rimjhim answered this time.
“Actually now I realize that you two have much in common.” Rimjhim’s voice indicated something – probably to both of them.
“Would you mind explaining it a little more? I am confused.” And Aryan really was.
“Like neither of you drink. And also none of you like much of partying but a quiet evening. And for the rest just talk and find yourself. I need to be excused.” With these words spoken Rimjhim left the balcony leaving Aryan and Lavender together.
“So you don’t drink?” was the first question from Lavender.
“I do but only water and coca cola. Nothing else.” Aryan replied smiling.
A hint of smile appeared on Lavender’s lips too and she felt a thrill may be.
Both being quiet persons and that too Lavender being too much introvert it may be assumed that conversation would not go too far. But there was a thirst in both the hearts to know each other. It was definite that both liked each other and wanted to be a friend of each other. Who doesn’t if comes to know a person with similar tastes and passions?
“Have you brought your flute with you?” Lavender asked.
“Yes. But not here but it’s in my car.” Aryan replied.
“Oh!” Lavender sighed.
“Are you disappointed?”
“May be a little bit.”
“You see. Here it’s no point in bringing the flute. The music is so blaring. I hope that the neighbors do not complain later.”
“It’s a way of enjoying to some. You may not be in that group.”
“Surely am not. Even I was too tired to come. But my friends said they are not going to spare me. So I am here.”
“Same here too. And I can never turn down Rimjhim.”
“One more common point here I can see.”
“We both care for our friends too much. Right?”
“Absolutely.”
There was a little pause and both felt how comfortable they are in the company which seems to never happen before with neither one.
“What kind of music you listen to generally?” Aryan tried to keep on with the conversation.
“I like mostly soft numbers. I am not too much into classical. I really do not understand it.”
“Do you like instrumental?”
“Sometimes. In fact, there I prefer semi-classical.”
“What is your favorite instrument?”
“It’s not flute. I am sorry.”
“That’s absolutely ok. You need not be apologetic.”
“It is sitar.”
“I like it too. But my favorite has always been flute as you can guess.”
At this point Anthony interrupted them. He came in the balcony to call both of them for dinner. The food was served.
Dinner was not much of an event. Many of the guests were by then not exactly in the state to actually feel the taste of the food. But there was no untoward incident. And finally came the time to hit the dance floor.
“Anthony. You need to excuse me now. I am really tired.” Aryan was about to leave.
“Hey Aryan. How can you leave now? It’s just the beginning.”
“Anthony. I need some rest. I am really tired. Please believe me.”
“Ok. As you wish. We will catch up later.”
Lavender too was too shy to dance. She now wanted to go home too.
“Rimjhim. When will you leave?”
“The party is just beginning Lavender. It’s time to hit the dance floor.”
“Rimjhim. You know that I am not into it. And also I am tired from the day’s shift. May I go?”
“Ok. Let’s talk to Anthony and see what can be done.”
Anthony was little disappointed to hear Lavender leaving.
“Anthony. I can’t think of someone who can drop Lavender at her place.”
“Wait a minute. Aryan is leaving now. May be he can drop Lavender.”
“I will feel much better if it’s Aryan who’s dropping off Lavender.”
“Hey Lavender. See you later ok.”
“Enjoy the party Rimjhim.”
“Thank you.”
“You are welcome.”
While they were talking to each other, Anthony called Aryan and asked to wait as Lavender is coming with him too.
“He is downstairs just outside the elevator waiting for you.” Anthony told Lavender.
“Ok. Thanks for the party and food. I really enjoyed my time.” Lavender spoke as she pulled the elevator doors.
“My pleasure. See you again.” Anthony’s voice trailed off as the elevator moved down.

4

Seated in the car Lavender suddenly remembered that Aryan has his flute in the car.
“So where is your flute?”
“Huh?” Aryan at first could not comprehend the question.
“You told me that your flute is in the car. I wanted to see it.”
“Oh! Ok. It’s here.” he took it out to show Lavender.
“When can I to listen to it being played?”
“Do you want it here?”
“Not really. Someplace more quiet.”
“I can suggest a place but I don’t whether you want to go there at this point of time or not.”
“Where is it?”
“Generally I go by the side of the river. It’s really calm and quiet there.”
“I don’t mind going there.”
“If you say so.”
Aryan’s car took a turn and headed straight towards the designated place. The place is just beside the river. The only sound you can listen to is the water flowing. The fresh breeze pleases your ears with murmuring of the leaves. The bank has steps where one can sit and see the other side of the city all lit up. It’s all lit up above too. The sky is studded with stars making you remember the rhyme you heard long back – “twinkle twinkle little star” – especially where it says “like a diamond in the sky.” The lights from the civilization reflected in the flowing water, unblemished cool air with wetness from the river created an atmosphere need not be necessarily described by words. It can only be felt. A place in side the world yet out of it somewhere far in the universe where one wants to get lost and feel one’s inner self. The straight railway tracks going along the river on its bank are another mystery. They seem to have no start and no end but only it’s a path. Just like life – no one knows what’s ahead. It’s a journey which you have to take. The silence was like a magic blanket wrapping you. It’s perhaps a sin to break that silence. It’s divine, celestial.
“I have never been here before. It’s a beautiful place. Thank you very much.” Lavender was ecstatic.
“I always come here when I need to relax. The soothing breeze and the soft music flowing of water are heavenly.” Aryan almost whispered fearing he would break the moment.
“Will you play your flute now?” Lavender was too eager to wait.
“Sure. Let me take you to my favorite spot.”
Aryan is an artist. He is romantic. So is his “favorite spot”. It is a protruded portion of the bank on the river. When you sit on the edge of it you can see the water beneath flowing. Not turbulent but a stream – tranquil and unruffled. There is no sense of busyness, any hurry but only simplicity of the flow. Transparent to deep down, reflecting the stars as a mirror the water has its own captivating charm. It’s fascinating and mesmerizing. Perfect for an artist to have his passion blossomed to its capacity.
Aryan and Lavender sat beside each other on the edge. Aryan took out his flute.
“I will try my best.” Aryan started after these words.
His flute became vocal with semi-classical music. Exactly what Lavender said she likes. Aryan did not know why he was intrigued to play semi-classical but he did. Unknowingly they were drawn to each other’s magnetic yet so simple outlook of life. To them it did not seem to be the first time they were meeting. They felt they knew each other for long to trust, confide in, divulge. Within inner self was provoked a rouse that was never felt before. After an hour Aryan’s flute stopped. By this time Lavender was into another world – the world of mystery, magic and translucent thoughts. She was deeply engrossed into the magical spell the music created in the serenity.
“Did you like it?” Aryan questioned Lavender.
Now it’s Lavender’s turn to be amused. She could not comprehend for a moment what has happened.
“What did you say? I am sorry I could not get it.” Lavender spoke but still in somewhat trance.
“I asked whether you liked it or not.” Aryan repeated.
“I did. It will be less if I say I only liked it but I loved it.”
Aryan could not see Lavender blushing in the darkness but he felt complete.
“Can we have a walk together along the tracks?” Aryan asked.
He wanted to spend more time with Lavender. Finally he has found someone with whom he can connect to. Lavender is the person with whom Aryan can feel at ease, talk what he wants. He did not want the moment go so soon. Little he did know how Lavender also felt the same way. Lavender did agree to have a walk. They started walking side by side.
“I played flute for you. You should do something for me.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“You may sing a song.”
“I am really a terrible singer. Believe me. In my childhood my father wanted to teach me music but I failed miserably.” Lavender chuckled a little remembering those days.
“So your father used to sing?”
“He used to sing but only for his passion. Not for fame or money.”
“Quite interesting.”
“When from did you start playing flute?”
“Perhaps from the age of 5.”
“Wow. Long time back.”
“Yes. And still I feel passionate about it as I used to. It’s my life.”
While walking sometimes they were so close that their hands were brushing against each other. That momentary touch sent shiver through spine for both of them. Never did they realize before so much longing for each other. Hitherto unknown feelings in heart making it sink in anticipation. Slowly Aryan took Lavender’s hand in his. Lavender did not disapprove or showed any annoyance. Silence was the best form of communication between them. The night, the darkness brought them closer. The veil of unfamiliarity gradually faded away between them.
“You know Aryan? When I was a little girl, once we went to a small town for vacation. There also we found a rail track like here.”
“Really?”
“And I always used to walk just over the tracks. And my father used to walk by my side. Here again I feel like walking on the tracks.”
“Go ahead.”
“Can I?”
“Sure. I will not think anything else. It’s always refreshing when you relive the memories of your ever cherished childhood.”
Lavender started walking on the tracks and Aryan by her side. Suddenly Lavender tripped but Aryan was alert enough to get her hand. But by the intensity Lavender completely fell into Aryan’s arms. The very moment they realized what happened.
“I am sorry.” Lavender tried to regain her composure.
“You need not be. It’s no big deal.” Aryan tried to comfort her.
“Still do you want to hold my hands?” Lavender asked.
“In fact forever I am ready to hold to your hands if you wish.” Aryan sounded serious.
Lavender placed her hand on Aryan’s palm as he closed it. No words needed to be spoken. No words needed to be uttered. Both of them understood each other. It’s only an emotion which can be felt. It’s only a sensation which can be absorbed. It’s only a passion which can be experienced. It’s just a state of mind – perhaps this is love.

MYSTERY BOX

[The old man has died and his children have come together to see what he has left for them. All they have found from the room which can be of some interest is a bit odd looking box. This box has always evoked curiosity among them but they never got to see what is inside ever before.]

Akshay : hey folks I guess now it’s the time to check what’s in this box, what ya all say?
Natasha : yes big bro lets see what dad have treasured in this?
Monica : hey Sid do u remember once you wanna see this and dad got really angry?
Siddharth : yep sis, I do and from then on I am real curious what’s inside
Akshay : guys let’s waste no more time and open this

[They open the box and a whole new world unravels in front of them.]

Siddharth : dad kept few old papers in this box huh? He must been crazy.
Natasha : hey Sid let’s see what else there is also and then we may comment.
Akshay : I guess Natasha is right. Let us just see the whole contents of the box.
Monica : Hey look. Here is one envelope and seems to have a letter inside. What’s this?
Akshay : Mon. Will you open it and read aloud for all of us?
Monica : Sure. Give me a second.

My dear Children

I know now you are all too curious to find what is inside this box. I never let you touch or open the box ever before. But today I am inviting you to look into the box and its contents. Hopefully today you will find something which you have never found before. I am no more with all of you physically and it is my last gift to you all who are my most beloved.

You will find separate letters for each of you in 4 packets in the box. Read them.

Dad

[Monica hands over the letters to each of his brothers and sister and took her own.]

Akshay (voice trembles a little) : I am opening my letter. (opens the letter)

My dear Akshay

You are my elder son and also my first child. When you will have children you will understand what it means when you first take your child in your arms. That feeling cannot be described in words. The first time I took you in my arms I whispered in your ears “I will be on your side through all your ups and downs of life till I last breathe my last.” I hope I have been able to keep my promise to you. When you were very little and just called me “dad” for the first time I thought no happiness on earth can be compared to this. It was one of the most precious moments of my life.

In the envelope you will find among the pictures one where you are dressed up like me. Taking my briefcase and standing in front of mirror trying to act like me. You thought no one saw you but I did my son. Stealthily I took this picture because I could not afford to lose this cute act of my little boy. You looked smart and confident. I knew you will do well later in life and I was happy that I proved myself right. Today I feel proud of the achievements of my son. But every time in my memory that kid with briefcase comes up.

I wish you all the best in life. You are gifted with qualities that will make you a true champion.

Dad

Monica : hey brother I never knew you used to take the briefcase of dad and copy him. It’s real cool.

Akshay : I never knew dad had so high hopes for me. I would have tried much better then to make him happy.

Siddharth : hey brother, don’t get upset. You have done well. He has written that in his letter to you.

Natasha : who’s next? I think it should be sis.

Monica : ok. (opens the letter)

Monica darling

To a father daughter is always very special. You are my angel. I always wished I have a daughter and God fulfilled my dreams with a beautiful daughter like you. From the moment you have came to my life it all changed.
The moments I cherish about you are those when you used to come to me ask me to play with your dolls with you. The way you went on imitating your mother for every move was a feast for my eyes. You were so adept in that. You will find one picture of yours where you are trying to feed the doll just like your mom used to do for you. Those moments I had with me in my last days. Recalling all those memories made you all with me.
Do you remember when Sid was first brought to home from the hospital? You were only 4 year old. But was always the one who try taking Sid in arms. Look at the other picture. You are trying to put him to sleep. It was a moment that I and your mom both were standing just at the door watching you two. It was a blissful sight to behold for both of us. Do you remember yourself trying to tell the stories to your little brother? The same stories which you have heard from me or mom.
I am happy that you remained that kind-hearted and soft-natured always. You are really my angel dear.

Dad

Siddharth : hmm. Now I know why used to feel such bad when I was put to sleep.
Monica : Sid. (almost crying but not crying yet sniffling)
Siddharth : hey sis. Don’t get upset. I didn’t mean to hurt you. (go to Monica and sit in front of him on knees)
Siddharth : You are always sweet. Please don’t cry. (put hands on Monica’s hands and try to comfort)
Akshay : it’s Natasha’s turn now. It has to be something really good for you coz you were the favorite of dad.
Natasha : big bro, still you will say that
Siddharth, Monica : yes dear, you were always the favorite of dad
Natasha : ok. (opens the letter)

My sweetheart Natasha

Did I ever tell you how much special you were to me? You came to my life when it was very crucial moment for me. But with you coming to me came my good luck also. You have from then on always been my lucky mascot. My career always took a leap forward with you.

Remember me asking you to say head or tail once when I was flipping the coin? Did you ever know that I was taking a big chance then? Whatever answer you have given I took it. You remember that you told head and it was so and how much ecstatic I were? That day even I felt the step was not that worthy but took it. Only because my lucky mascot predicted the correct outcome. My only regret is I do not have a picture of that moment but it was only in my mind. Your angelic voice reverberated in my ears till my last day.

But I have your picture when you were dressed as the princess for your school play. You are a princess in real life my dear. You were my princess. I sat through the whole play to see my princess dancing with her prince. I am happy that today you found your dream prince and all settled in life.

When you have started your career as an actress I watched your every movie. From a shaky actress you went on becoming one of the reigning divas. My princess truly became a princess of people.

Wish you the best princess.

Dad

Akshay : now this is new. Dad took a decision based on Natasha’s prediction.
Monica : he told it. Nat was always the “lucky mascot” for him.
Natasha : I was happy when he attended the play I did in school but never felt it was so important for him too. I love you dad.
Siddharth : hmmm. So now me only left huh?
Akshay, Monica, Natasha : yes little brother.

[Siddharth opens the letter.]

Siddharth

You must find this little odd that I only wrote your name without dear or other stuff unlike that in your brother and sister’s letters. It does not mean that I didn’t love you. You were to me as precious as others been.

Always I have seen a fighter in you – an undaunted spirit to overcome all the obstacles. Though you were the youngest of all yet you always tried to compete with your elder brother and sisters. Never think I did not notice it.

You were always interested in sports from your childhood. I have yours one photograph which you may even be able to recollect. Do you remember the first time you wore the jersey of your favorite team and trying to play with football in the backyard? You were so engrossed in the game you did not probably remember me taking your snaps. The blue jersey was looking so good on you. Till now I remember you shouting the name of your favorite player while throwing the ball. Do you remember now my son?

You were so different from your brother. He was sincere and responsible. You had a more care-free attitude. But always I saw when it comes to testing your abilities you have delivered the best. The last game of yours that I saw made me think of only my little 5 year old son wearing the blue jersey and trying to play in our backyard. You made me proud.

Sid, never lose belief on you. You can do the best. I love you my son.

Dad

Akshay : (taking the picture) I saw this before but never though that dad had so much attached to it.
Siddharth : never did I bro.
Monica : Sid, dad was so proud of you I can’t imagine.
Siddharth : he was great sis.
Natasha : yes Sid, he was.
Akshay : see this one. a picture of dad and mom together
[Monica takes it and flips it]
Monica : with my love who gave me the most beautiful gifts I ever received – my four children.
Akshay, Monica, Natasha, Siddharth : Love you dad and mom.

The Whiff of Smoke

It is a Friday morning in October in Blacksburg when the winter is setting in with its full glory. The sun shows its glory only after 8'o clock. But by fortune's grace I had a proctoring duty from 8'o clock. So by 6'o clock I reluctantly got up, finished my all morning jobs and headed towards the examination venue. An hour passed peacefully and I breathed a sigh of relief. Now it’s the time to get into my own work.

From the examination hall I was returning to my lab and found the regular busy atmosphere of the day has started to set in full gear. People were swarming in for classes (with sleepy eyes of course). The morning sun was sharing its warmth. Suddenly I smelled smoke - the familiar smell of burning of tobacco. It says that smells are stored somewhere in your brain and are associated with certain memories. Whenever you again encounter the same smell all the memories rush to your brain. Exactly it happened. For a moment I was lost in my childhood - those winter days. The rays of the sun sneaking through the window on my bed and me trying to curl up to be exactly within the perimeter where the sun rays are falling. I still remember me nagging to let me go off with the bath right in the morning 8'o clock (now the irony is I have to do it, no choice). I miss those moments when I and my brother used to jostle for space to get the warmth of the sun. My father used to read the newspaper while taking a puff. That smell was probably stored in my brain from the beginning. It was that smell that brought my childhood. The picture of my mother spending some time in the kitchen with "Mani" to get the food ready for all of us is now I only can see when I close my eyes.

For a moment I was out of the university - far away - I felt I was at home. Perhaps if it had been a daytime I might frown at the guy who compelled me to smoke passively. But No. Not now when he did it in the morning. Nevertheless it was he who brought my sweet memories and made my day.

I Wish I Too Had

4th May 1984

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me – Brishti. She was my so-called "best friend". We have known each other from our childhood – in fact from the very first day of our school life. I saw her growing up from a little girl in clumsy clothes to a young lady with grace and exquisiteness. Her beauty unfolded for me – at least that’s what I thought. I stared oblivious of time and place at her long silky hair, petite young arms, and the seemingly fragile fingers those removing the few strands of hairs falling on her face. I did not know what I exactly adore in her. But I only realized that she is my dream, my wish, my thought, my desire, my reverie. I wished she was mine, but she didn't notice me like that. And I knew it. She was truly like the rain drops – crystal clear and pristine.

After class she walked up to me and asked, “Do you have the notes for last class Aditya? I missed the class.”

“Yeah. I do. Here are they.” I handed them over to her.

"Thank You." and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends.

I love her, but I was just too shy.

And I don't know why.

Days passed by and we remained good friends. We ended up in the same college with the same subject. We talked over the phone for hours despite the disapproval of our parents. We shared our thoughts and views intimately. We took long walks along the shore when she always found me hold her shoes while she had her feet washed by the sea. The twilight made her beauty somewhere above this world – it was magical, enigmatic – something which words cannot describe – just can be felt.

I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends.

I love her, but I was just too shy.

And I don't know why.

12th March 1993

But she did tell me. No it was not me. It was Rahul – Brishti’s boyfriend. She was excited about it. And she wanted to share her joy with me.

“Hi Aditya. You know what?” her voice was bubbling with enthusiasm as we were slurping ours fast dripping ice-cream.

“What is it?” was my return question with little curiosity.

“Rahul proposed me.”

“What? Really? You are kidding.” I found myself uttering in disbelief.

“No. It’s true.”“Great! So what are the plans now?” that was all I could say.

“I don’t know.” with a sheepish grin on her face she replied.

That day I still remember. After coming back to home I thought I lost my world. I have been deprived of the most precious part of me perhaps. I felt lost and forlorn. Never felt so much pain and agony in my life. The very moment I knew life will never be the same ever again for me. The change is indelible.

23rd November 1995

The phone rang. I knew it must be Brishti on the other end. She was in tears, sobbing uncontrollably, mumbling on and on about how Rahul had broke her heart.

“Aditya am all alone. Rahul left me.”

“Brishti I am with you. Your best friend.” was all I could say then.

“Can you please come over to my place? I cannot bear it anymore. I need you Aditya.”

“I will be there in few minutes.” I found myself speaking.

As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, two bottles of soda she decided to go to sleep. She thanked me by planting a soft kiss on my cheek.

I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends.

I love her, but I'm just too shy.

And I don't know why.

A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. A year passed. Before I could blink, it was our graduation day. The end of our college days – fun filled days – finally time to embark in the battle of life to make my presence worth on this world. Life has endowed and enriched us with all we need to survive.

27th July 1998

The Graduation Day has and will always be a special day in life for every person. The day signifies embodiment of strength acquired by talent and skills of self. With the gown and cap at the convocation Brishti appeared to be in her usual grace and charm. Her appeal has always been quintessential and classic yet simple and effortless. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her degree. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before we went home, she came to me in her graduation dress, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "I want to have a photograph with our graduation sashes and certificate." Could I ever have been able to say no to any of her requests? Never. Neither this time. After that she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, “You're my best friend Aditya!”

I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends.

I love her, but I'm just too shy.

And I don't know why.

30th October 2000

Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, NOW, with another man – Akash. I am witnessing the marriage as the best-man. Dressed in her snow-white wedding gown Brishti looked as youthful, boisterous and divine she always used to be. Perhaps never before she looked so much enigmatic, such pristine and celestial. The priest chanted the hymns and asked Brishti, “Do you accept Akash as your husband till death part you?” I watched her say, "I do". I wanted her to be mine but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.

But before she drove away to her new life – away from my life – to be with another man, she came to me and said, "I had the best time of my life with you, thank you my best friend!" and kissed me on the cheek.

I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends.

I love her, but I'm just too shy.

And I don't know why.

17th Spetember 2003

It may be probably a couple of years Brishti got married to Akash. I still know I feel a void in my life. I might sound a loser but can I help it? My dreams, my thoughts, my feelings were all centered on her – Brishti – my muse. Yet “I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.”

Suddenly the phone rang and woke me up from my trance. It’s my mother on the other side.“Hello, Aditya?”

“Yes Mom. Go ahead.”

“Aditya as soon as possible come to home.”

“Why? what happened?” panic gripped me.

“Reach home and then I will tell and yes at home both I and your dad are ok.”

“Ok. If you insist so strongly I am coming.”

Wrapping up for the day was not an easy job though. Yet was done.

Back home it was gloomy and dark. Fearing something really ghastly I entered my house. Mom and dad were sitting in the porch. I let a sigh of relief. But what I did not know was that was true to the sense ephemeral. The real shock was yet to hit me.

“What’s the matter? Why did you call me from the office so early?”

“Sit Aditya.” Mom managed to speak in a somewhat cracked voice and continued, “Brishti is no more with us.”

The word did not impale me properly and I just asked, “What are you saying?”

“It’s true.” was all my mom could utter.

I was left there all alone, shell-shocked, speechless, grieving. Really I did not realize at that point what I have lost. I lost “My Best Friend”.

“Tomorrow is her funeral at 9 in the morning.” was the last words I heard that day even not remembering whether it was my dad or mom who told me that.

18th Spectember 2003

I looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my best friend." Even death could not take away her mythical beauty, her evergreen exuberance in appearance, her lovely smile which was still there on her lips. Her last wish was to read her diary entry she wrote on her Graduation Day.

This is what it read:

27th July 1998

Today is a very important day of our life. We graduated and now ready for sailing through the ocean of life – let us sail together Aditya. I stare at him in his sashe and gown – wishing he were mine. He has that charm and appeal. He has a charismatic aura about him which I never found myself forgetting. But he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.

I wish he would tell me he loves me. I love you Aditya! You are my best friend. You let me know the fun and frolic of childhood, essence of friendship, soulful nature of womanhood. I am so indebted to you Aditya. You have always been there for me when I needed you. You remained by my side always. Be there. Love me. Take me. Make me yours. Nothing else matters to me. It’s you, whom I see, I dream, I think of. For once say you love me. I wish I do that. But I am shy. And I don’t know why.

It was a shearing pain ripping my heart apart. It was not her death that caused my pain and sorrow. But how have I been so blind not to see the love blossoming in her tender heart for me and just for me. I realized how difficult and excruciating it was for her to accept anyone taking her other than me. I thought to myself, and I cried probably in anguish and frustration and agony.

I did love her – by my heart and soul.

But why was I shy?

And STILL I don’t know why.

About ME

Internet has changed the life of people all over the world so drastically that it is beyond imagination. Today without internet one cannot complete the circle of life in an urban set-up. The world wide web or "www" has casted a spell on us – the people of the world privileged to use computers and internet.

The "www" boom has not only affected and changed the outlook of professional life, its presence in personal life and arena of entertainment is equally ample. The dating sites have flourished and perhaps made the phrase "love is in air" more than true to its literal meaning. In these dating sites one has to express one’s self. Is it possible to describe a person crisply and completely in only few words? But people do that. And upon opening any dating site you be will offered glimpse of the success stories posted there. The question that naturally reverberates is whether they are true or not. But who will answer?

The "about me" section has generated people to come up with novel ideas and new style of expression to present one’s self. The language of English has altogether evolved in the age of world wide web to cater the gen-X. The words have assumed short forms and that has a tremendous impact on the language and literature in particular. Though those effects are not to be addressed yet was worth mentioning.

The main concern is how one can fit oneself in such a short space provided. And is it really one is upto what is written in "about me" section by that person? Many people say, in fact most of the people say at some informal place "perhaps you should ask my friends to know me". So they in a way express their inability to describe themselves. But it may happen at some point of time they might have attempted to do so. So naturally the question shoots out whether when the person writes should be treated or not.

I, myself personally cannot claim to describe myself completely in few words. Its probably the next to impossible task for me. Yet I admit of having some futile attempts (in yahoo and orkut) to my credit. I can straightaway say that I failed miserably. Those were some partial pictures and may be wrong to some extent even.

Human beings evolve with time. They change. They adapt to situation. So now I may behave in a certain way and that is subject to a particular situation in which I am. And if I describe or at least attempt to do so at that time I will portray myself in a specific fashion. But given another similar situation I am in with a different mindset trying to portray myself will result in a description completely different from the earlier one. So then what describes myself completely? Is not both the pieces together make-up the complete me? If so then each presented separately is not truth – right? On the moral ground should we go on describing ourself in such a small place?